Mind Games

dark... quiet.... his own voice always about... Eco's... of the past... memories... voices around him... a touch... his family?

every thing was a jumbled bluer.... no lines... no color... no sound.... it was empty.... he was empty...

then suddenly it was like a loud ripping noise and a flash of light....and then.... he was there.

it reminded him of an internet chat room... a map was shown to him... with places to go... with themes... of time eras... from old old to new... even pop cultured themes.... carnivals.... school.....

it was all there.... full of touches... sounds... colors... voices... people... yet at the same time... they we not really there... he new that....

he could tell, he was still a prisoner in his mind.... but at the same time.... here.... in this place... no quite like heaven or real life... it was a good start...

Kai found it best to wander around in different rooms some times picking them at random. today's pick was japan... his mother had always told him about the cherry trees in the spring so he wanted to go and see....

and see... and wander around in a blizzard of pink petaled snow....

he ran down a tree lined road happily arms wide enjoying the stretch of his legs... to run.....he sighed stopping as a burst of wind burst aginst him sending more pink into the air about him.

She didn't see it coming, hell Natalie never saw anything coming. She was always so blind to everything, always just floating through life letting others decide for her. She wore what her friends did, acted like her mother taught her, and said only what she thought people wanted to hear. God she was so sick of not seeing what it was doing to her. When did, when it finally hit her she felt herself snap. Knew that she had to get away before she hurt one of the people she thought she cared about...Freedom was all she could think about, even when the car screwed that up for her.
She didn't blame the man driving the car necessarily. It wasn't his fault that a bad memory from the past showed up to drag her back home. She didn't have a right to hate the man that she most likely traumatized with her death.
She was dead now after all, she didn't have a right to hate anyone.
It was an instant sort of death, a quick pain then fade that swallowed her into dark before the light came. She didn't expect that light everyone talked about seeing when they die to be a map however. So many choices too....
"Ah Japan!!" She loved Japan she had wanted to travel there on an exchange program one day. She closed her eyes, guessing you had to shut your eyes and wish really hard so it would work. When she opened them she was surrounded by a blizzard of cherry blossom petals.
"Pretty." She giggled when one landed on her nose and gave a quick twirl to look at the pretty little kimono she'd been changed into. She loved the brown and pink and blues that coresponed in the pattern and felt elated at how pretty she found the soft fabric. She twirled till she felt dizzy then fell on her back into the grass. Looking up at the petal filled blue sky.
"So this is what being dead feels like?" She muttered, running her hands over the soft grass, curious at all the vivid senses she could feel.
Someone's steps alerted her to someone somewhere around her and she sat up quickly, now afraid. She frowned, her eyes narrowing as she searched for someone. "H-Hello?"

a voice... one of many he had hear in the last few days...

after two years of coma this was like tasting candy for the first time all over again...

" HELLO!" he called out cheerfully.

he laughed and looked about seeing her sit up as the petal's settled a little.

" hey there little red, its nice to see a pretty face when your in a coma " he said with a lopsided grin.

he new not every one was aware of what was going on... but they soon find out... and as in life things here were depending on the person...

Natalie blinked looking up at the guy before her. So happy for a dead person, she had thought...till of course he said he was in a coma. 'Poor guys dilusional...' She thought as she frowned in thought. Should she burst his buble *hehe* or should she just play along?
She paused and mentally kicked herself. 'No more holding back! You're free to do what you want!' She thought and took in a breath.
"Um, I think you've got it all wrong here...I'm dead." She said with a slight twitch to her smile at how odd it sounded. She was unaware that in the process of thought she had grabbed the pendant of the necklace she was wearing, a small feather that she clung to when she was thinking.

Kai burst into laughter and then fell down next to her as he tried to stop, " im not.... laugh.... laughing at you.... "

he said trying to make that clear first.

when he fianly caught his breath he smiled at her and shook his head, " no dear... i have been here about a week... after living for two years in my mind.... "

he looked off into the distance in thought trying to remember the darkness he had been living him for so long...

" then this... its like a hugge! computer for comatose people... if you want some doctors come in here in the "com mind" center and talk to people... and stuff . "

he shrugged, " i got curious so i asked... and i must say i love it... i thought i forgot what touch and smell were....and voices... and seeing face's... its all so amazing... and hell... having your body fed by doctors is great too i guess... i have not once felt hungry here.... we dont need to eat or drink... "

he looked sad, " but to tell the truth... i would love to have some chocolate chip cookie dough icecream about right now... " he said grinning once again.

Natalie froze. What had he just said? Some craziness about a com mind and comas and a world inside your head and...It hit her almost instantly. The news report on tv at the hotel room she'd been allowed to stay in if she worked there as part of the cleaning staff for minimum wage since she was still "a minor". Some story about doctors new inovation in the ways of the human psyche. It was all still a big under the wraps thing, something that doctors gave little hints about. But never did she think she'd be apart of it...
She shook her head, not quite sure why though. "No. I'm sure I-it was..." She tried to swallow the fact that she wasn't dead but for some reason it made her.... mad? She looked over at him, unable to keep her eyes from narrowing.
"Ice cream, you just told me I'm not dead-and now you're talking about freaking ice cream?" She paused and let her shoulders sag with a sigh.
"Sorry, its really...a surprise." She said, looking down at her hand. She didn't want to believe him, but it explained so much of this weirdness.

" well... many believe they are dead.... some go on preaching about purgatory and heaven... till they see the doc.... but even then some keep going on... "

he sighed, looking at her hand as well, he reached out and touched it feeling how smooth it was but the lack of warmth. it was not cold and it was not hot...

" see... we can see things... hear them... they know what nerves and conections... but not all are completed... we cant feel warmth or cold here... and becuase... we are not in real life no eating... its not necessary... "

he smiled, " here we can talk and be free to cure our selves better... so we can wake up... "

" before... ti was so dark, i was drowning over and over again in my mind... till this... and i am too afraid to go back to that to tell teh truth... but maybe one day... i can face that... and wake up... but.. not today, today i am exploring adn meeting you.... ah... well im Kai... whats your name?" he asked a little scattered .

Natalie wasn't completely convinced, but listening to Kai speak she found reason in his words. Besides what would he gain by lying here? But the prospect of a coma....it scared her a little more than she liked to admit it. And here, in this place she was suposed to heal? She frowned. What could she look forward to waking up to?
She pulled away a bit at his touch, just enough to give him the sign she didn't want to be touched at the moment. He was still chattering on, not in an annoying way. She just felt things were just odd right now.
"Kai..I'm Natalie. Allie for short." She said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'd say its a pleasure but, things are a bit too strange at the moment to really tell." She said and gave him a brisk smile.
"This all seems do real, for a computer you know...So..." She began as she thought through the millions of questions she had and tried to decide what to ask first. "So no pain either? Well maybe not- Is this place really big? Oh and what about sleep? Ah and I saw a bunch of other places on that map thingy, but are we stuck here? You know, like you chose once and thats where you stay?" She was asking more questions than she intended at first, but was unable to slow herself down in her confusion.

he smiled, " you can come and go and pick and chose... "

he shrugged and got up holding a hand out to help her up.

"there are many other people... lots of places... " he relaxed. " it more relaxed though.. you can be who ever you want want to be "

he smiled. " i was goth yesterday... well sorta... all you have to to is think it and it will happen ... you know with in reason."

Natalie listened to him explain it and felt her curiousity peak at it. She could go anywhere here and be anything, all with more people that were in her situation. That seemed like a stretch but incredibly amazing to think about. When he offered it a hand up, she took it and got to her feet. "So flying is outside that limit. Darn it." She said and gave a small shake of her head with a smile. So this outfit she was in now was in that limit? And the cherry blosoms...So could the time of month and weather be altered? She thought for a moment and instantly came up with an image in her head of rain, the surest test if it worked. She didn't realize how much she missed those rainy nights in her window sile till she felt the first drop drip from the sky onto her nose. It was a very light misty drizzle that started but enough to make her realize what this place was that she had at the reaches of her mind. she however felt bad for getting them wet and frowned apologetically. "Sorry ah I was just curious. and rain was the first thing to come to mind. lets get out of here before we get a cold-oh wait we can't..." She said a little frazzled and not thinking of the fact she could just think it sunny and it might just change.

Kai grinned and the rain came down harder in havy big soft droplets and he grinned, " i love the rain... i used to run around in it all the time "

he grabbed her hand and pulled her through the rain down the tree linned road till they came to a bus stop and pulled her up under it.

he shook his head whipping the water out of his hair with joy, " ah... you cant enjoy that in the real world.... its just so amazing here... "

he grinned, " so... what do you want to do now that we have played out in the rain... we can go... to a fair.... or.. back in time " he said making little quotation marks with his hands and winking at her as his cloths changed to a dry pair his shirt now red with black leather pants as he took the moment to grin at her.

" you should have some fun with this... its like a medical vacation after all "

Natalie was surprised when Kai suddenly pulled her along down the road and to a bus stop she hadn't noticed there before. She took her hair and wrung it out but mid way her hair suddenly dried, slipping from her hands in silky cleaness. "This is definately a sort of out of body experience." She said with a small smile at the rain that ran down the glass. She caught her appearance in the reflection and saw the outfit she had worn that morning, the jeans and simple pale, forest green tank top with a black ink flower painted on its chest. "Alright, fun...so many choices." SHe thought about it, flipping through all the choices she could. "How about the fair, I haven't been to one in so long." She said just thinking about it made her smile at the memory. It was the first place her parents actually took her together, when theyweren't too buisy. She was so little then it all kinda felt like a blur.
"Of course if you don't mind.." She added, falling back to her old tendancy of worrying over what other people felt, not wanting to be pushy.

" anything you want to do... " he said thinking.

" in fact... today will be Natalie day were we do everything Alie wants " he took her arm and closed his eyes only to open them over the large map again.

" okay... state fair...is that the one you want to go to... or like a theme'd one..."
he asked feeling excited. having a purposefulness for the day... something to work tworads... the thrill of completing something.

it had

She looked down on the map in awe at all the choices there really were. And she got to chose where they went. She hardly thought it was fair to do to someone she hardly knew, but then again didn't argue. She was relieved to have someone there that knew more about this place than she did. Some one this nice...She thought back on where she wanted to go and knew she'd like the smaller fair better. She'd never been to a state fair before after all since she grew up in a very small town that she never really left. "State fair. It sound more homely in a way." She said, and looked at the place on the map that might have some clue to how to really work all this. In her head she could picture the idea of the state fair she'd seen in a movie, 'The Notebook' no less. It made her want to laugh that that would istantly come to mind but she'd watched the movie a thousand times over when she could. "Kay so, I guess I close my eyes then and think about it?" She wondered aloud.

Kai chuckled again feeling the slight static slip as they entered the closest thing to Alie's thought or memories.

Kai loved that... it was a way that they could share things.... between each other more clearly with out all the communication errors.

he smiled looking about. " wow.... i would have never been too a place like this ....man... "

he sighed," i think we will have to have more Natalie pick's days... if you keep thinking up gold like this..."

he looked about curiously. honest... he had never really looked out beyond modern day things... and this... was much cooler then looking in a book and reading about it... he got a better feel for it.

" so... you can teach me some of this right?" he asked still looking around.

Natalie was a bit shocked and embarrassed at the fact that it was exactly as she'd thought it up. So wonderful, with the night time air crisp and warm with the summer breeze. The old colored lights flickered everywhere, drawing her eyes to everything around. Old, timely and just like the old fair ground in that movie with the simple rides and attractions. Kai had mentioned he wouldn't have chosen a place like this, making her a little nervous that she'd made the wrong choice. Maybe he was more into modern day, not easily drawn into the simple world of old that she loved. Then again he looked just as cusious as she felt. She decided to loosen up and let her excitement show. "It's so old fashioned. So cute!" She laughed. She saw a couple more people, an older couple that suddenly turned young at the blink of an eye. She smiled brightly and turned to Kai. "Let's go look around." She took his hand and walked around till she found a spinning seat type ride painted with latices of circus type colors. "Ah I've always wanted to go on one of these!" She said brightly, even more excited that there was a non existent line. She took a step into roped off area around it and to on of the stalled rides double seats. "Is it just open for anyone?" She looked around for someone that was running it or for a sign that said it was closed. She then remembered this was all apart of thought and looked to the metal bar that laid across the long seat. It suddenly swung open slowly making her smile in delight. She sat down and patted the seat next to her for Kai. "I remember this thing is suposed to spin kinda fast. It looks fun right?" She laughed. She couldn't wait for it to start spinning and for her to feel the light as air feeling that she loved as it picked up speed.

Kai gladly fallowed her into the ride. " wah.... i didnt think they had rides... it might be worth learning history with you Alie~sense " he said as the bar slowly closed the two of them into thee ride.

" ah... now im all excited... my heart is beating so fast" he said as his cloths changed once again to a modified version of what most were wearing in the park.

" its a shame i cant try the food in this time... now that would be swell " he said nudging her as the ride began to move.

Natalie couldn't help her smile. Kai didn't know much about it but he seemed to be at least enjoying himself. Of course she also noticed how he thought about the food. "Yeah some cotton candy would be awesome..." she said as she noticed the lack of anything sweet and edible anywhere. When the ride started she tightened her grip on the bar, closing her eyes as it spun. She laughed at the wind tugging on her hair that simply felt nice. It picked up speed, making her slide beside Kai. When it slowly came to a stop she was smiling brightly at the elation she got from the ride. "That was great! Then again the 1940's had some of the best simple entertainment." She said as the bar flipped up and let them out. She slid out of the seat and waited for Kai to join her. She had an unshakeable smile at the moment from thinking of all the things there was to do. "There was never anything like this back home. If there was it was at least a good couple hours away near the bigger towns." She said then wondered for a moment if it was the same for Kai. "what about you Kai? Where are you from?"

he smiled and shrugged, " just a suburb of a big city in a upper middle class housing.... "

he shrugged, " just a boring every day life. . . being very average, doing average things... "

he looked at her curiosity crossing his face as he backed up to get a good look at her. " im guessing you were pretty cool... art chick? or you an anime fan girl giggling at the lunch table with your girl freinds "

he chuckled, " i was some were between... popular and averring.... im okay at sports... just not jock material. " he said shrugging.

he looked about and saw an old fashioned carousel and grabbed her arm pointing it out. " you want to go on that?! " he asked.

he had seen one once. though his mother said no they were on a scheduler.

Natalie blinked her mouth wanting to fall open at his assesment but she kept it shut. It was pretty close, except she read manga not watched anime and her friends were the ones that giggled, she just nodded and agreed with what they were saying. Damn, was she that easy to read? And Kai was popular. Figures, he had that face and the cheerful attitude that made people comfortable around him.
When he pointed out the carosel, she looked it over and her smile brightened. "Yeah!" She said and walked over to it. It was spinning slow enough for people to board it, a few other people taking a seat on the different exotic circus animals. She settled for a pretty show horse that looked like it was prancing. "You should find one before all the good ones are taken." She said from her perch side ways on the horse.

he shook his head, " i can always imagine a cool one remember " he said taking a seat on the hipo next to hers as it changed into a black stead just as hansom as her snowy one.

he smiled at this as his horses legs started moving as if running in place and its main moved as if by wind.

he got into a good sitting position and sighed, " man.... i have always wanted to ride one of these...and this is my first time... wohooo..... " he called out happily.

" as a kid my mom would always go to the farmers market..... and teh carousel was there... i would always ask, and she always said we were too busy.... "

he smiled, " and when i got older she told me i was too old..."

he grinned evily for a moment, " she told me a boy my age would have to be out of my mind to want to be seen on such a girlish and babyish thing... who knew it would be a guy my age would have to be trapped inside my mind to want to be seen " he said impressed with him self.

"you will have to remind me to tell my mother that one day " he said reaching out to poke her in the arm

Natalie nodded though it was slightly awkward. She noticed some kind of tension there but didn't want to pick at it. Though his reasoning was quite a thought that made her smile."One day when we wake up..." She said and leaned against the horses head. She was amazed at this carosel and how it moved so realistically but it all seemed so dream like. So unlike the real world she hadn't really left. "I think my firends would call me crazy if I told them about this." She said and laughed when the feather on her horses head tickled her forehead. She looked to Kai. "And my parents would say it was a very creative dream." She shrugged herself. "Like I care, I'm having fun here." She said and smiled. "And I'm glad you finally got to ride this ride."

he sighed heavely with a look of content.

" today is the best out of all the days i have been here... " he said .

he had simply done things he missed...as apposed to things he had not done due to social rules...

new things... out of his usual.

he smiled, " you know... you are kinda lucky ... ill have to call you red. " he said winking at her .

he then paused, " ah... if you dotn mind... i mean.... i dont want to be pushy or nothing... " he said suddenly unsure.

Lucky, Natalie just didn't see it. After all she got hit by a car to get here in the first place. Neither did she see how this was the best day of his time here. But who was she to judge or believe he was just saying it to make her feel better or something like that. After all she did feel happy to have some company in this weird world. "Red, huh?" She tapped her lip in thought before giving a laugh. "Okay, I like it." She said before going back to watching the world spin by in a slow pace. She began to wonder how long she'd be here, if she'd wake up tomorrow or in two years...or never. She shook the thought away and gave a small sigh. "Next lets go to the ferris wheel. It looks like alot of fun..."

" ah... okay " he said getting up and off the horse and jumping down to help her off better.

" sounds good too me red " he laughed liking the sound of it. almost made him want a nick name too....

he shook his head at how silly it was ... he seemed so free to be him self instead of what was needed.

they walked strait up and go on no waiting in line.... he looked out the window as the cab they were in shifted and moved up word. " ah.... i wander how far we will be able to see.... "